Tagged: funny emails

Emails From My Grandma : FW: Interesting: Warren Buffett


Warren Buffett, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling:

“I could end the deficit in 5 minutes,” he told CNBC. “You just
pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more
than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible
for re-election.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds)
took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple!
The people demanded it. That was in 1971 – before computers, e-mail,
cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took one (1) year
or less to become the law of the land – all because of public pressure.

Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to
a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask
each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will
have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed
around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2012

1. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no
pay when they’re out of office.

2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social
Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the
Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into
the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the
American people. It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all
Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and
participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the
American people.

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void
effective 12/1/12. The American people did not make this
contract with Congressmen/women.

Congress made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in
Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their
term(s), then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will
only take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive
the message. Don’t you think it’s time?

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!

If you agree, pass it on. If not, delete.
You are one of my 20+ – Please keep it going, and thanks

Emails from Somebody Else’s Grandma : Facts About Mitt Romney We Will Not Hear About From The News Media

This one’s actually kind of refreshing. – CRF 

 

Facts About Mitt Romney We Will Not Hear About From The News Media
>
>
> · After going to both Harvard Business School and Harvard Law School simultaneously, he passed the Michigan bar, but never worked as an attorney.
>
> · As a venture-capitalist, Romney’s first major business deal involved investing in a start-up office supply company with one store in Massachusetts that sold office supplies. That company, called Staples, now has over 2,000 stores and employs over 90,000 people.
>
> · Romney or his company Bain Capital (using what became known as the “Bain Way”) would go on to perform the same kinds of business miracles again and again, with companies like Domino’s, Sealy, Brookstone, Weather Channel, Burger King, Warner Music Group, Dollarama, Home Depot Supply, and many others.
>
> Got your calculators handy? Let’s recap.
>
> · Volunteer campaign worker for his dad’s gubernatorial campaign 1 year.
>
> · Unpaid intern in Governor’s office 8 years.
>
> · Mormon missionary in Paris 2 years.
>
> · Unpaid bishop and state president for his church 10 years.
>
> · No salary as president of the Olympics 3 years.
>
> · No salary as MA governor 4 years.
>
> · That’s a grand total of 28 years of unpaid service to his country, his community and his church. Why? Because that’s the kind of man Mitt Romney is.
>
> · And in 2011 Mitt Romney gave over $4 million to charity, almost 19% of his income….Obama gave 1%
>
> · Joe Biden gave a pathetic $300 or .0013%
>
> · Romney may not be the best representative the Republicans could have selected. But at least I know what religion he is, and that he won’t desecrate the flag, bow down to foreign powers, or squander my money on vacations. I know he has the ability to turn this financial debacle that the “Spending President” has gotten us into. We didn’t know that when Obama said he’d give us change, he meant nickels and dimes, and he would get the big bucks. We won’t like all the things necessary to recover from this debt, but someone with Romney’s background can do it.
>
> · But, on the minus side, He never was a “Community Organizer”, never took drugs or smoked pot. Never got drunk. Did not associate with communists or terrorists. Nor did he attend a church whose pastor called for God to damn the US .
>
> Do Us all a favor. Please send this to others who may be ill informed.

Emails from Grandma : Notes

Emails from my Grandma was a segment I started in response to Montana’s U.S. District Chief Judge Richard Cebull’s racist email.  At that time, on Twitter, I simply stated that, ” I receive an Email like that, daily, from my Grandma.” People didn’t believe me. So I posted one, and this all began. These emails are 100% real and from MY grandma, not random Grandma’s. My Grandma is a nice, god fearing, Catholic woman who lives in Nebraska. She is my love, and I am eternally grateful for her. Each email I post, I received THAT exact day. She is a tiny example of the madness and misinformation going on in this country. I post these emails not to make fun of my grandma, but to make fun of the misinformation. It’s to highlight that these emails are started by normal and rational people, who over time, have been led to believe some crazy things. So while we may be laughing at her, it’s at no fault of her own. I love you Grandma!

Emails From My Grandma : FW: Wal-Mart vs. The Morons (NOT A JOKE)

The real deal.

 

This is spot-on.

PLEASE, READ THIS TO THE END. IT IS VERY INTERESTING!!!

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world’s largest private employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run
Wal-Mart to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans… Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature

It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a.. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years
to get it right and it is broke.

b.. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it
right and it is broke.

c.. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right
and it is broke.

d.. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right;
$1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the
poor” and they only want more.

e.. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years
to get it right and they are broke.

f.. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right
and it is broke.

g.. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence
on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion
a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right
and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every “government service” you have shoved down our
throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??

Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our “duly elected’ (they never read anything) and
their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND

I know what’s wrong. We have lost our minds to “Political Correctness” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please tell me what the ////////// is wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We’re “broke” & can’t help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,???????????
In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey ..And now Pakistan ……..previous home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks…;

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and mentally
ill without treatment -etc, etc.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the same support they give to other countries. Sad isn’t it?

99% of people won’t have the guts to forward this.

I’m one of the 1% — I Just Did

Emails From My Grandma : FW: Obama stops soldier from speaking

OBAMA STOPS SOLDIER FROM SPEAKING
Something you’ll want to be aware of: Sent by Retired
Vice Admiral Bob Scarborough, of Arlington , VA.
“I wanted to give you all some disturbing information on
our wonderful president. I work with the Catch-A-Dream Foundation, which
provides hunting and fishing trips to children with life-threatening
illnesses. This past weekend we had our annual banquet/fundraiser event in
Starkville . As a part of our program, we had scheduled Sgt. 1st Class Greg
Stube to come; he’s a highly decorated U.S. Army Green Beret and
inspirational speaker who was severely injured while deployed overseas and
didn’t have much of a chance for survival. Greg is stationed at Ft. Bragg ,
NC and received permission from his commanding officer to come speak at our
function.

Everything was on go until Obama made a policy that NO U.S.
SERVICEMAN CAN SPEAK AT ANY FAITH-BASED PUBLIC EVENTS ANYMORE.

Needless to say, Greg had to cancel his speaking event
with us. Didn’t know if anyone else was aware of this new policy. You’re
just starting to see the Obamanation. This is just how the Nazis did it in
the 1930’s — slowly, one step at a time.
This should be forwarded to everyone regardless of party
affiliation! We have lost 50% of our freedom of speech in the last 2 years.
The news media is not allowed to print anything negative
about this evil Obama.
ARE YOU STILL GOING TO REELECT HIM???????????

Robert D. Sinacola
COL (Ret), AVN, USAR

Emails from My Grandma : FW Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know!

Stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know!
————
——— ——— ——— —-

Every day more money
is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.
Treasury.

————
— ———— ——— ——–

Men can read smaller
print than women can; women can hear better.

————
——— ——— ——— —-

Coca-Cola was
originally green.

————
——— ——— ——— —-

It is impossible to lick
your elbow.

————
——— ——— ——— —-

The State with the
highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

————
——— ——— ——— —-

The percentage of
Africa that is wilderness: 28%
(now get this…)

————
——— ——— ——— —-

The percentage of
North America that is wilderness: 38%

————
——— — —— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

The cost of raising
a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

$ 16,400

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

The average number
of people airborne over the U.S. in any given
hour:

61,000

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Intelligent people
have more zinc and copper in their hair..

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

The first novel ever
written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer..

————
— ———— ——— ——— ——— ———
——— –

The San Francisco
Cable cars are the only mobile National
Monuments.

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Each king in a deck
of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander,
the Great

Diamonds – Julius
Caesar

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

111,111,111 x
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air,
the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes

————
—— — ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Only two people
signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4,
John Hancock
and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2,

but
the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q. Half of all
Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q. Most boat owners
name their boats. What is the most popular boat name
requested?

A.
Obsession

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q.. If you were to
spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter ‘A’?

A. One thousand
————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q. What do
bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers have in common?

A. All were invented
by women.

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q. What is the only
food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Q. Which day are
there more collect calls than any other day of the
year?

A. Father’s Day

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ———

In Shakespeare’s
time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

It was the accepted
practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that
for a month
after the
wedding,

the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with
all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

In English pubs, ale
is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind
your pints and quarts, and settle down.’

It’s where we get
the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

Many years ago in
England ,

pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle

of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill ,
they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’
is the phrase inspired by this practice.

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

At least 75% of
people who read this will try to lick their
elbow!

————
——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———
——

YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when…

1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t
played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list
of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.

4. You e-mail and text the
person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for
not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don’t have e-mail or text addresses.

6. You pull up in
your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries…

7. Every commercial
on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house
without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in
the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

11. You start
tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading
this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you
know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually
scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this
list

~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at
yourself.

Go on, forward this
to your friends. You know you want to! Go lick your
elbow.

Emails From My Grandma : FW: Hail Mary

Hail Mary
Years ago a church group passed a framed picture of

The Virgin Mary from house to house.

According to the legend surrounding the picture,

This same picture had been passed from house to

House since 1938 and was passed through the 2nd

World war, in secret for fear of confiscation,

Discovery, and retaliation from the enemy.

To add to the mystery of the picture it was

Passed on by only one person. You gave it

To that person and requested it be passed on

To….and you would name the person. This

Was the way it was handled through the years,

The idea being to protect the people receiving

The picture.

Hail,

Mary! Full of Grace!!

The Lord is with Thee: Blessed

Art Thou among women, and

Blessed is the Fruit of Thy

Womb, Jesus!
Holy Mary, Mother of God: Pray for us sinners,

Now, and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

I’M

MOVING HER TO YOUR HOUSE…

Please

Keep the Blessed Mother moving from house  to house..